News of the World! Little Missy Picks the Top Three Stories For You
It's just awful out there right now with Istanbul, my favourite city ever in unrest, and all the usual tedious problems like the government spying on us (o snap)! Oh and who is this Edward Snowden and why does he have to hide out in Hong Kong? What did he do that is so bad he has to hide and all those blowhards in DC are going blah blah blah he's a danger to our country! Like we didn't know the government was spying on us and Good God do we care? It's all blah blah blah 24/7 on FaceBook so grow a spine DC and concentrate on important things, which this Snowden probably isn't. And if he is important and has compromised us, tell us why for heaven's sake! Syria, North Korea, Pakistan, just throw the dart and there's a really big problem! And right here with all these guns! Oh please!
Will it be Alexandra?
So Little Missy seeks to divert and entertain once again with hand picked stories from around the world. Let's go to the UK, where bookmakers would have us believe that Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge are going to have a girl and call her Alexandra. Little Missy approves--this is what she named her daughter! And you can go to a poll and vote for the name Kanye if the Royal couple produces a son! And Kanye thinks he is the next Steve Jobs! My kids love Kanye and always quote him. Kanye is very popular! Who knows, maybe Little Missy will have a grandson named Kanye! Just as long as I don't have to have a granddaughter named Kim Kardashian! That would not be good! But Kanye is in the realm of possibilities for our family. We already have a Dylan!
Rupert and Wendi--No Dude, I am going to Hollywood!
Now let's go to Australia or wherever that disgusting 82 year old Rupert Murdoch lives. He is divorcing wife number three, Wendi, aged 44. He was quoted a few years back as saying that Wendi, the mother of two of his children, was just going to be his interior decorator but Wendi was like "No you stupid old cretin, I'm going to be a movie producer!" and she produced a couple of respectable pictures and now guess what? You go girl, you are well out of it!
Kanye says he is going to spoil his daughter more than Kate and William spoil theirs!
Little Missy's idea of a nightmare is Kim Kardashian. When Kanye got down on his knees at the Met Gala to sing his final number to Kim, Little Missy was not fooled. Kanye, why did you do that? You are Kanye West, for Goodness Sake! You bend the knee to No One! No One, Kanye! Especially Kim Kardashian, who dresses like Trashian!
Well, that's it for Little Missy's Top Three World Stories! And if any of my readers run into Edward Snowden in Hong Kong, tell him Freddie Aranda and I know a great restaurant hidden in a basement that serves the best chrysanthemum tea. It's very soothing in this scorch and burn climate that we daily endure. Carry on, in the moment, float like a butterfly. It's tough but we will get through.
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