Friday 5 April 2013

 

What Is A Bitch and Little Missy's Mail Bag
5 April 2013
Little Missy Stands in front of Gu Wenda's united nations--babel of the millennium, a 1999 installation at SFMOMA made from human hair, rope and glue. Photo by Drew Altizer. And no animals were hurt during this installation.  Does this make me a bitch?  I guess so!


The most exciting thing happened!  Little Missy received an email from an unknown reader with a question regarding something from last week's posting.  I am so thrilled that I almost cannot wait to write about it, but perseverance, patience and that most difficult and often most boring thing of all, self discipline, compel me to save it until the end. 
What is a bitch?  I am so sick of this word, always used to describe awful women, overbearing queens and worst of all, successful women who have opinions and aren't afraid to show their intelligence. "When a man gives his opinion he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion she's a bitch".  Most of us are familiar with this Bette Davis genius quote.  Why is it this way?  I don't know, but it Bette-ah change, because I am praying by that I mean almost literally, that the biggest bitch of us all, the one and only Hillary Clinton, runs for president.  If Hillary does not run for president, this bitch, Yours Truly Little Missy, is...well...I don't know what I would do because the thought of Hillary not running for president and winning is unthinkable.  Bitch is an ugly word unless you a referring to a female dog and it should be struck from our vocabulary.  So we are never using this word again.  We are strong and positive and we stand beside strong and positive people who will then stand beside us.  We are all one.
  
Little Missy may yet find it in herself to like the red white and blue combo
 
Now it's time for Little Missy's Mail Bag.  I swear if one of you jokesters sent this in as a prank, I don't care because you rocked my day!  I received an email from an unknown address.  "Dear Little Missy" it read, "Do Jawbone bracelets count sex as steps in their calculations?"  Goodness gracious!  How would I know?  So I corresponded with the one doctor I know who would be cool enough to know, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, not the esteemed Sanjay Gupta of CNN fame but Sanjay Gupta of Harley Street, London.  He has a practise that is so cognoscenti you practically have to have a code word to get in, and that code word is money.  But I met Dr. Gupta and his lovely wife in a castle in the Himalayas, so I am not surprised.  "Dear Christine", he wrote, "I love the way you cut to the chase, even though we have not corresponded since our splendid New Year's Eve dinner at Kitchener's."  I think by Kitchener's, Sanjay is surely referring to the castle where we met, which was once owned by Lord Kitchener.  Talk about cognoscenti!  "It doesn't surprise me that you would be on to the UP Jawbone bracelet, and Lila and I wear them ourselves.  And we do agree with you Christine, the blue is much more acceptable than the black or the other colours.  But dear Christine, you must tell your correspondent that the UP Jawbone only tracks actual steps, so unless the sex involves walking or running, it will not be tallied into the daily calculation".  So sorry!  You still have to walk or jog or move around quickly to get those 10,000 steps.  So get out there this weekend and smell the air, the flowers and be one with nature.  To move toward the future, you must live in the present.  Hillary can use that one if she wishes! 
 
 
 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Learning About Fashion Rodarte Spring Summer 2011, photographed at Stanford University for Electric Fashion, the book I wrote with F...